We've played Arkham Horror a few times before, so I won't comment in depth on the game mechanics (North American-style) or overall production values (very good).
Arkham Horror is a game not to be approached lightly. In addition, if you have players who are not in the mood to play (as I suspect we did last night), do not, under any circumstances, try to force them to play. The game requires you to keep a brisk pace and make quick decisions on your turn or it slows into the morass of dullness that any North American-style boardgame can fall into (too many rules, too many exceptions, too many things decided by die-roll).
I fear that I dragged people into a game they didn't enjoy last night, which is my personal anathema for a game evening.
Arkham Horror is a game where a single card draw (especially some of the mythos cards like "Good Work Undone" or some of the more powerful Great Old Ones, like Hastur or Cthulhu) can turn what is usually a challenging game into a brutal one. This makes it difficult to justify the hour or two you might have already invested in playing being turned upside down by random chance. This, coupled with poor dice rolling, can make a gaming session singularly unfun.
I have had lots of fun with Arkham Horror in the past. Last night was average enjoyment for me, but from the reactions of some other players, terminally boring or frustrating for others.
I think I have learned a few things about Arkham Horror after one solo play and five multi-player plays.
1. Only play Arkham Horror when everyone is in the mood to play.
2. Only play Arkham Horror when you have a solid block of 3-4 hours in which to play it. Do not attempt to squeeze in a game if you will run out of time. You cannot finish a game in under two hours unless you are really lucky or have very few players (who are also game veterans). You can (we have, anyway) finish it in two and a half hours, but you have to be lucky and have people who've played before. I should have not tried to play the second round last night with only one and a half hours remaining. I realize now as I write this that when I made the decision to play the second game, I made a critical math error. We usually stop at 11, and it was 9:30 when we finished the first game. Somehow that made 2.5 hours in my defectively quick mental math.
3. The gate/other world exploration mechanic can be big drag on the game and should probably have been differently developed. You have two (and sometimes, with a number of cards that delay you in the other world, three or more) turns where you make virtually no decisions and random, mostly bad things happen to you in which your only reaction is to roll dice (this is especially bad if you were sucked in unprepared (no clue and no elder sign) and the experience will be for nought). One unfortunate player was stuck in Celeano for four encounters (!) as a result of two trap-type encounters last night. Coupled with the fact that gates are usually opening at a rate where you will lose in six (at minimum) to eight (average) turns (in a five player game) if you don't close a gate almost immediately, you will lose. The amount of time spent in other worlds seems overly much - given the few options available to the player. I actually remembered a rule incorrectly for the first few gate encounters - we should get sucked into the other world where we then have a other world encounter on the same turn, instead of waiting until the next turn. This made an important difference in our first run through last night, and I should have caught the mistake earlier. I believe it affected two gate exploration attempts. The effect of having no decisions to make and simply watching as things happen to you in a game (as can happen in the Other Worlds) is a "locked on auto-pilot" feeling that is the exact opposite of enjoyable gaming. I will have to think of other games where this occurs, because it is not exclusive to Arkham Horror.
4. The FAQ version of monster introduction rate (two monsters per gate with five or more investigators, and monster surges of monsters = # of investigators or number of gates, whichever is higher) should only be used with experienced players for a greater challenge. It seemed overly challenging with four experienced players and one rookie last night.
5. I propose that one possible aid to play is the ability to trade clues. Aside from a game mechanic point of view, I don't see why (thematically) investigators wouldn't trade clues. In fact, thematically, they SHOULD trade clues. If you cannot close/seal a gate unless you explore it, if you are sucked through a gate and no one has elder signs to trade, you are stuck with the option of closing the gate only. Another alternative is that you can close a gate with clues or elder signs if at least one investigator in the space has an explored marker. I don't know; this might make the game too easy.
Coming away from these games, I still feel like I want to play again. Oh, I forgot to mention - we were all devoured by Cthulhu in the first game (lost by a long shot - we didn't have a chance), but we made decent headway in the second against Hastur. I feel that with many repeated plays, you might get a situation in which you feel you've explored all possibilities, but I haven't reached that level yet after six games. I almost feel like I want to play this game two or three times in a row with a dedicated group of players to fully appreciate it, but I don't think that will happen with this group. Arkham Horror requires either dedicated North American-style game afficianados or Cthulhu-mythos fans to be a frequently revisited game. Our gaming group does not match this description (3 Mythos fans, one of which is a North American-style game fan, so only 60% of the group)
As a final side note, I find it interesting to note that the two players who appeared least enthused about the game were also the ones most distracted by comparisons of which illustrations had the sexiest women (Jenny Barnes, "cleavage girl" (forgotten her name) and the Witch) and also happened to be the youngest players (well, still well over 25, but...). Low attention-span blipheads! Can't you see the importance of focusing your attention on a board game based on the lunatic/paranoid writings of a semi-racist New Englander* for three hours? I blame MTV. Kids today... *mutter mutter grumble*
* Yes, yes, I know. His views on miscegenation and racial purity changed over his lifespan, and toward the end of his life he had changed many of his viewpoints. Doesn't change the fact that a lot of his early work was undoubtedly racially prejudiced.
Showing posts with label Cthulhu. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cthulhu. Show all posts
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Thursday, September 29, 2005
All Hell Broke Loose
We gathered this week, visited once more by our friend JayWowser from California, for an ambitious attempt at playing both a "long" course of Robo-Rally and a session of Arkham Horror. Turns out, we were too ambitious, but just by a little.
This was JayWowser's first go at RoboRally. We had five players, and we chose a 2 board scenario from the "beginner's" courses. I have to hand it to the course designers in the new edition... the two we've tried so far have been real winners. The length is well represented in the description, the courses encourage good interaction and keeps leaders in check by forcing "double backs" in most (all?) cases.
We played with my "Pirate's Cove" variant. I have always felt that this game penalizes the players that are behind too harshly (they go back to their last save point AND start with damage!). It's hard enough to come back from a death and stay in the race, why make it harder? In this variant, players who suffer a setback are given a chance to bounce back by being given the option to come at full health or take two damage and draw an "option" card (similar to Pirate Cove's rules, giving pirates a choice of option cards when they are beaten in battle). I'll probably post this to BGG eventually.
I made a bee line towards the first flag and got there largely unopposed. In contrast, the other four were battling it out from the start. Kozure made a habit out of zapping Jaywowser. Meanwhile, Shemp took a few too many rides on the looped conveyor belts. I had made it to the 2nd flag as all hell broke loose at the first one. JayWowser, heavily damaged and with several locked registers, along with an otherwise healthy Kozure, was sent flying off the board by a charging Luch (Kozure almost immediately went over again). As I made my end run across the board back to the final flag, Shemp decided to give up the race and focus on taking me out. Kozure was terminally stuck in the crossfire of too many robots, and was eliminated from the game. Meanwhile, JayWowser and Luch headed for flag 2... holding out hope that Shemp would screw me over. I got shot up good on the way to the final flag, well enough to lock 3 of my registers before I could reach it. I tried valiantly to get there anyway, and I did make it to within one space twice, but I was never able to make it work. JayWowser snuck down the middle and claimed the victory as Luch was destroyed by Shemp close to the final flag.
All in all, a very chaotic and exciting race (well, maybe not exciting for Kozure). I really enjoy this game.
Next up was Arkham Horror. The guys had hyped this up for me, and my brief solo game seemed very intriguing, so I was looking forward to trying it out. We started at 8pm, giving us 3 hours for the game (assuming we finished up at our regular time). 4.5 hours later, we still hadn't finished, so we called it a night!
Our group was a solid mix of brains and brawn. All in all, I never really felt like we were in serious danger of failing (of course, Shemp as our own personal army clearing the streets, all the healing abilities we could ask for, and a well timed visit from the feds, helped a lot in this regard). When we quit, we were very close to successfully sealing all the gates we needed, so we packed up confident we would have won.
My reaction to the game itself is mixed. On one hand, there is a large number of very cool concepts and mechanics in the game. I appreciate the sheer variety of "stuff" it offers (characters, monsters, equipment, Great Old Ones, etc). I feel like there was an honest effort to capture a huge amount of the flavour of the mythos (the stories, the rpg, etc). But in the end... there is too much. A serious amount of editing should have taken place.
A (very) brief synopsis:
Each player takes on the role of an investigator from a particular walk of life (psychologist, student, doctor, private eye, etc). Each has different strengths and weaknesses. A Great Old One is randomly selected as the evil which is about to awake, and the game begins. Each turn, "mythos" events occur, clues are discovered around town and portals open up in unstable locations on the board (spitting out monsters in the process). It is up to the players to seal these "gates" before too many open, awakening the sleeping evil... (the bulk of the game involves working toghether to roam the streets, collect items and "clues", fighting creatures and sealing gates. They can win by sealing them all, but if the condition is met for the Great Old One to awaken before they can do that, everything stops and the group must collectively fights it).
What I liked:
There is a clever character stat system which allows players to adjust their skills every round, but every time they raise something, something else gets lowered (such as raising your "speed" reduces your "sneak"). It's a very elegant little touch which gives good flexibility to the characters to adapt to situations in a way that is balanced and simple. The monster movement system is also interesting; routes in black and/or white are traced on the board. Every time monster movement occurs, creature's who's symbols are called that turn move along the track they have been assigned to (ex: All "Star" cleatures move along the white path). It's a bit cumbursome to scan every creature each round for the symbols, but it's an original way to have a multitude of creatures move in an unpredictable way (and better than just rolling dice for all of them). Each location has a deck of cards which determine the types of encounters which will happen there (it's a little overwhelming to see all the decks of cards, and it doesn't result in as much variety of events as you'd expect, but it's a nice idea nonetheless). The whole "upkeep","Move/fight","Location Encounters","Mythos Event" systems works pretty well, despite some confusion regarding WHEN combats actually occur in certain circumstances, and despite the poor layout of the mythos cards themselves. Finally, I like the dynamics of gate opening: Each mythos card calls for a new gate in a location on the board. If it already has a gate, all open gates spit out monsters. If a gate has already been sealed there, the players are spared. This system accomplishes many things with simple and logical mechanics.
What I don't like:
The biggest problem is that the game is fairly long, but it feels like it should be going faster. The issue, in my mind, is that on top of the core rules there are a myriad of other, tiny rules which are individually simple and add flavour, but collectively just feel cumbursome. The "doom" counters (I think that's what they were called), which track the slow awakening of the Great Old One, kept getting forgotten. Money is bordeline unecessary. The terror level is an interesting concept (with residents of town and shops closing as it rises), but it doesn't add enough to be included. The creature "overflow" area is similar, unecessary clutter. Between the modifiers to the game from the Great Old One, the 3 types of Mythos cards, the character abilities and the myriad equipment and spells... it's hard to really be sure to apply all modifiers at a given time. While the "Sky" space adds an interesting element, "Lost in Time and Space" seems like a kludge solution to a problem they couldn't solve. There is a lot more, but the last one I'll mention is that the creatures have two flaws which bothered me: 1) the colour coding for special movement should have been replaced with text on the card (in fact, in some cases there is both!). 2) The double sided tokens meant that we were constantly flipping to see how hard something was to kill, how hard it was to sneak past, what symbol it was for movement purposes, etc.
In short: Simplify! Consolidate!
The fact that no one can agree on how some rules work is clearly a problem. The fact that the climax of the game, the encounter with the Great Old One, is one such situation, is pretty awful. I haven't yet had such an encounter, but considering that I don't understand how "fighting" such powerful creatures is in the spirit of the mythos, I'd probably like to see the whole process eliminated or re-worked.
It would be interesting to see if the game would work like this:
1) No money (simple draw three, choose 1 mechanic at the shops instead)
2) no blessings or curses
3) No terror level/ Overflow stack
4) Eliminate the trip to the outer planes. When a player wants to seal a gate, draw and resolve 1 card of the appropriate plane. If he/she survives, try to seal the gate immediately (or possibly the next turn)
5) Agree that combat always takes place in the movement phase, no matter what.
6) The Great Old One chosen determines the special conditions of the game (as usual), but if it awakens, the game ends. (B.T.W. An idea for a better way of keeping track of the doom track: Count out a # of gate markers equal the length of the doom track and return the others to the box. When the last one is placed, the Great Old One awakens and the game is over. When an Elder sign seals a gate, return it to the bottom of the stack. I haven't tested it, but it seems like it would work)
A few items that could have simplified the game, but couldn't be done now without going back to the drawing board:
1)Reduce the equipment cards to one stack (combining spells, unique items and common items).
2)Possibly eliminate the location card stacks (and go with a simpler streets=nothing, locations=printed text at the location, Mythos card=game events). Some of the flavour would be lost, but it would dramatically improve the pace of the game.
Summary: A VERY ambitious game. Succeeds in many ways, but fails in just as many. I enjoyed myself as always, but I don't think I'll be requesting it in the future.
Rating: 6
This was JayWowser's first go at RoboRally. We had five players, and we chose a 2 board scenario from the "beginner's" courses. I have to hand it to the course designers in the new edition... the two we've tried so far have been real winners. The length is well represented in the description, the courses encourage good interaction and keeps leaders in check by forcing "double backs" in most (all?) cases.
We played with my "Pirate's Cove" variant. I have always felt that this game penalizes the players that are behind too harshly (they go back to their last save point AND start with damage!). It's hard enough to come back from a death and stay in the race, why make it harder? In this variant, players who suffer a setback are given a chance to bounce back by being given the option to come at full health or take two damage and draw an "option" card (similar to Pirate Cove's rules, giving pirates a choice of option cards when they are beaten in battle). I'll probably post this to BGG eventually.
I made a bee line towards the first flag and got there largely unopposed. In contrast, the other four were battling it out from the start. Kozure made a habit out of zapping Jaywowser. Meanwhile, Shemp took a few too many rides on the looped conveyor belts. I had made it to the 2nd flag as all hell broke loose at the first one. JayWowser, heavily damaged and with several locked registers, along with an otherwise healthy Kozure, was sent flying off the board by a charging Luch (Kozure almost immediately went over again). As I made my end run across the board back to the final flag, Shemp decided to give up the race and focus on taking me out. Kozure was terminally stuck in the crossfire of too many robots, and was eliminated from the game. Meanwhile, JayWowser and Luch headed for flag 2... holding out hope that Shemp would screw me over. I got shot up good on the way to the final flag, well enough to lock 3 of my registers before I could reach it. I tried valiantly to get there anyway, and I did make it to within one space twice, but I was never able to make it work. JayWowser snuck down the middle and claimed the victory as Luch was destroyed by Shemp close to the final flag.
All in all, a very chaotic and exciting race (well, maybe not exciting for Kozure). I really enjoy this game.
Next up was Arkham Horror. The guys had hyped this up for me, and my brief solo game seemed very intriguing, so I was looking forward to trying it out. We started at 8pm, giving us 3 hours for the game (assuming we finished up at our regular time). 4.5 hours later, we still hadn't finished, so we called it a night!
Our group was a solid mix of brains and brawn. All in all, I never really felt like we were in serious danger of failing (of course, Shemp as our own personal army clearing the streets, all the healing abilities we could ask for, and a well timed visit from the feds, helped a lot in this regard). When we quit, we were very close to successfully sealing all the gates we needed, so we packed up confident we would have won.
My reaction to the game itself is mixed. On one hand, there is a large number of very cool concepts and mechanics in the game. I appreciate the sheer variety of "stuff" it offers (characters, monsters, equipment, Great Old Ones, etc). I feel like there was an honest effort to capture a huge amount of the flavour of the mythos (the stories, the rpg, etc). But in the end... there is too much. A serious amount of editing should have taken place.
A (very) brief synopsis:
Each player takes on the role of an investigator from a particular walk of life (psychologist, student, doctor, private eye, etc). Each has different strengths and weaknesses. A Great Old One is randomly selected as the evil which is about to awake, and the game begins. Each turn, "mythos" events occur, clues are discovered around town and portals open up in unstable locations on the board (spitting out monsters in the process). It is up to the players to seal these "gates" before too many open, awakening the sleeping evil... (the bulk of the game involves working toghether to roam the streets, collect items and "clues", fighting creatures and sealing gates. They can win by sealing them all, but if the condition is met for the Great Old One to awaken before they can do that, everything stops and the group must collectively fights it).
What I liked:
There is a clever character stat system which allows players to adjust their skills every round, but every time they raise something, something else gets lowered (such as raising your "speed" reduces your "sneak"). It's a very elegant little touch which gives good flexibility to the characters to adapt to situations in a way that is balanced and simple. The monster movement system is also interesting; routes in black and/or white are traced on the board. Every time monster movement occurs, creature's who's symbols are called that turn move along the track they have been assigned to (ex: All "Star" cleatures move along the white path). It's a bit cumbursome to scan every creature each round for the symbols, but it's an original way to have a multitude of creatures move in an unpredictable way (and better than just rolling dice for all of them). Each location has a deck of cards which determine the types of encounters which will happen there (it's a little overwhelming to see all the decks of cards, and it doesn't result in as much variety of events as you'd expect, but it's a nice idea nonetheless). The whole "upkeep","Move/fight","Location Encounters","Mythos Event" systems works pretty well, despite some confusion regarding WHEN combats actually occur in certain circumstances, and despite the poor layout of the mythos cards themselves. Finally, I like the dynamics of gate opening: Each mythos card calls for a new gate in a location on the board. If it already has a gate, all open gates spit out monsters. If a gate has already been sealed there, the players are spared. This system accomplishes many things with simple and logical mechanics.
What I don't like:
The biggest problem is that the game is fairly long, but it feels like it should be going faster. The issue, in my mind, is that on top of the core rules there are a myriad of other, tiny rules which are individually simple and add flavour, but collectively just feel cumbursome. The "doom" counters (I think that's what they were called), which track the slow awakening of the Great Old One, kept getting forgotten. Money is bordeline unecessary. The terror level is an interesting concept (with residents of town and shops closing as it rises), but it doesn't add enough to be included. The creature "overflow" area is similar, unecessary clutter. Between the modifiers to the game from the Great Old One, the 3 types of Mythos cards, the character abilities and the myriad equipment and spells... it's hard to really be sure to apply all modifiers at a given time. While the "Sky" space adds an interesting element, "Lost in Time and Space" seems like a kludge solution to a problem they couldn't solve. There is a lot more, but the last one I'll mention is that the creatures have two flaws which bothered me: 1) the colour coding for special movement should have been replaced with text on the card (in fact, in some cases there is both!). 2) The double sided tokens meant that we were constantly flipping to see how hard something was to kill, how hard it was to sneak past, what symbol it was for movement purposes, etc.
In short: Simplify! Consolidate!
The fact that no one can agree on how some rules work is clearly a problem. The fact that the climax of the game, the encounter with the Great Old One, is one such situation, is pretty awful. I haven't yet had such an encounter, but considering that I don't understand how "fighting" such powerful creatures is in the spirit of the mythos, I'd probably like to see the whole process eliminated or re-worked.
It would be interesting to see if the game would work like this:
1) No money (simple draw three, choose 1 mechanic at the shops instead)
2) no blessings or curses
3) No terror level/ Overflow stack
4) Eliminate the trip to the outer planes. When a player wants to seal a gate, draw and resolve 1 card of the appropriate plane. If he/she survives, try to seal the gate immediately (or possibly the next turn)
5) Agree that combat always takes place in the movement phase, no matter what.
6) The Great Old One chosen determines the special conditions of the game (as usual), but if it awakens, the game ends. (B.T.W. An idea for a better way of keeping track of the doom track: Count out a # of gate markers equal the length of the doom track and return the others to the box. When the last one is placed, the Great Old One awakens and the game is over. When an Elder sign seals a gate, return it to the bottom of the stack. I haven't tested it, but it seems like it would work)
A few items that could have simplified the game, but couldn't be done now without going back to the drawing board:
1)Reduce the equipment cards to one stack (combining spells, unique items and common items).
2)Possibly eliminate the location card stacks (and go with a simpler streets=nothing, locations=printed text at the location, Mythos card=game events). Some of the flavour would be lost, but it would dramatically improve the pace of the game.
Summary: A VERY ambitious game. Succeeds in many ways, but fails in just as many. I enjoyed myself as always, but I don't think I'll be requesting it in the future.
Rating: 6
Thursday, August 11, 2005
A Visit to Arkham
What’s that, Martha? Visitors?
Well, by all means, woman, send them in.
Set a spell, fellas. Make yourselves at home; Martha and I were just gettin' ready for the shindig down in Innsmouth tonight.
Arkham? Ayuh, everyone ‘round these parts knows Arkham. Big city. Big trouble. At least, it ‘twas, until the last new moon.
What happened? Oh, boys, that’s a story longer’n my arm and twice as hairy. Sure you don’t want to jes’ rest your feet and have some lemonade?
No? I suppose you city slickers are always in summat of a hurry. I reckon that was part of the reason for’n the way things ended up.
‘Tall stahted with a fellah from the city, an investigator - I think they call themselves “private eyes” nowadays - He came snooping around the police station, asking strange questions. Weren’t too much later that a tahl dandy, used to be a magician, showed up near the Olde Magick Shoppe, asking a lot of the same questions. All these folks asking questions attracted the attention of our local journo, fellah from the Arkham Advertiser, nice young man. Can’t say as I recall his name. Anyways, that’s when the trouble started.
Ayuh, I said trouble. Wicked trouble, the kind that has crittahs pickin’ you up in slimy tentacles and throwing you down the road apiece. Odd stories came from the boys pulling in the pots down by dockside, ‘bout an island with strange lights and stranger rituals. Pretty soon, those three young men I mentioned came a’ pokin’ their noses ‘round, lookin’ to get to that island. Right after, a schooner came in all of its own, letting out all manner of trouble right onto the street that the magician was walking down. Everyone could tell that magician was in for a bad spell.
What’s that Martha? A pun? Ayuh, I reckon that was a pun. Finest kind.
Well, soon those boys were runnin’ all over Arkham, poppin’ in and out of glowin’ disks of light like rabbits down holes. Once or twice they came back lookin’ a might wild-eyed and haggard, like someone run ‘em through a ringer once or twice. Most of the time, they ended makin’ funny marks on the ground, and the disks never came back. Round then, the Egyptian exhibit came to town, which they seemed powerful interested in. All sorts of stories whirlin’ around town ‘round then, dark creatures in the streets, zombies, cultists, maniacs, and stranger things, things from the stars with wings. People in dark robes with forked tongues… they were the scariest, so I hear tell – at least the investigators seemed to avoid fightin’ ‘em.
The private eye, he was loaded for bear, as we say ‘round these parts. He took those crittahs to task, and brung a cartful of them in to the police to put in storage. They wanted to deputize him; he had earned it twice over, but for some reason, that never happened. The magician, well, he was a fragile sort. Kept on running into something in uptown, big and mean… think they said it was called a “dhole”. Anyways, that thing kept him holed up in St. Mary’s… the hospital… for quite a while. As for our hometown photographer, he disappeared for the longest time. When he showed up again, he kept on muttering about Elder Races, Cities and Cleaners or somesuch.
Sure you fellahs won’t have some lemonade? You will? That’s fine. Ah… there now, isn’t that refreshing? Ayuh, the wife makes it special… very tart.
It was a interestin’ time. We had a whole family murdered in their home, and for a while a mysterious Black Man was peddlin’ something over in Southside. We even had the Feds come in and clean a lot of those dark things off the streets, government-style. The three men panicked a little when it seemed like all their good work was going to be undone, but they figured it out, and got something in return. While they were worrying about not having all their work undone, a few more of ‘em glowing disks showed up, spewing all manner of crittahs all over Arkham. ‘Round bout then the General store closed up and the owner left town. Lot of fellahs left town. Somethin’ spooked ‘em wicked bad.
Well, with all those new glowing places and only four neighbourhoods that were safe, there was a reckoning. People ‘round these parts said it was quite a light show, pistols and spells and whips and shotguns ‘a blazin’. They say they came very close to banishing Yig; they did their best, poor misguided souls.
In the end, well… Arkham’s a different place these days. Never did see those poor boys again, ‘cept maybe in the new friezes they’re erecting over a ways by where they’re putting up Yig’s brand new Temple. They look powerful scairt, even carved in stone and clutched in Yig’s gentle talons. Ayuh, Yig’s a beneficent ruler, so long as yah stay on Yig’s good side; otherways, it’s off to the stone of sacrifice and, well, you’ll know more about that than I by the 'morrow. There's some as 'round here that weren't mighty happy to see Yig come to rule, but those of us who've always expected him, well, it's like the Fourth of July and Christmas and the Black Feast of Shub-Niggurath all rolled into one.
Oh, fellahs, yah look powerful uneasy. Don’t worry, Yig will take you under his feathered coils soon enough, and it’ll all be over. Ayuh, that cold feelin’ creepin’ over you is one of the finer paralytic poisons, courtesy of Martha’s lemonade and our lord Yig hisself. You fellahs probably won’t feel a thing.
Don’t worry. I think the good folk down at the Innsmouth shindig will take a shine to you right proper. They'll treat you fine, afore'n you go.
It’s going to be a wicked good party. Wicked good.
Well, by all means, woman, send them in.
Set a spell, fellas. Make yourselves at home; Martha and I were just gettin' ready for the shindig down in Innsmouth tonight.
Arkham? Ayuh, everyone ‘round these parts knows Arkham. Big city. Big trouble. At least, it ‘twas, until the last new moon.
What happened? Oh, boys, that’s a story longer’n my arm and twice as hairy. Sure you don’t want to jes’ rest your feet and have some lemonade?
No? I suppose you city slickers are always in summat of a hurry. I reckon that was part of the reason for’n the way things ended up.
‘Tall stahted with a fellah from the city, an investigator - I think they call themselves “private eyes” nowadays - He came snooping around the police station, asking strange questions. Weren’t too much later that a tahl dandy, used to be a magician, showed up near the Olde Magick Shoppe, asking a lot of the same questions. All these folks asking questions attracted the attention of our local journo, fellah from the Arkham Advertiser, nice young man. Can’t say as I recall his name. Anyways, that’s when the trouble started.
Ayuh, I said trouble. Wicked trouble, the kind that has crittahs pickin’ you up in slimy tentacles and throwing you down the road apiece. Odd stories came from the boys pulling in the pots down by dockside, ‘bout an island with strange lights and stranger rituals. Pretty soon, those three young men I mentioned came a’ pokin’ their noses ‘round, lookin’ to get to that island. Right after, a schooner came in all of its own, letting out all manner of trouble right onto the street that the magician was walking down. Everyone could tell that magician was in for a bad spell.
What’s that Martha? A pun? Ayuh, I reckon that was a pun. Finest kind.
Well, soon those boys were runnin’ all over Arkham, poppin’ in and out of glowin’ disks of light like rabbits down holes. Once or twice they came back lookin’ a might wild-eyed and haggard, like someone run ‘em through a ringer once or twice. Most of the time, they ended makin’ funny marks on the ground, and the disks never came back. Round then, the Egyptian exhibit came to town, which they seemed powerful interested in. All sorts of stories whirlin’ around town ‘round then, dark creatures in the streets, zombies, cultists, maniacs, and stranger things, things from the stars with wings. People in dark robes with forked tongues… they were the scariest, so I hear tell – at least the investigators seemed to avoid fightin’ ‘em.
The private eye, he was loaded for bear, as we say ‘round these parts. He took those crittahs to task, and brung a cartful of them in to the police to put in storage. They wanted to deputize him; he had earned it twice over, but for some reason, that never happened. The magician, well, he was a fragile sort. Kept on running into something in uptown, big and mean… think they said it was called a “dhole”. Anyways, that thing kept him holed up in St. Mary’s… the hospital… for quite a while. As for our hometown photographer, he disappeared for the longest time. When he showed up again, he kept on muttering about Elder Races, Cities and Cleaners or somesuch.
Sure you fellahs won’t have some lemonade? You will? That’s fine. Ah… there now, isn’t that refreshing? Ayuh, the wife makes it special… very tart.
It was a interestin’ time. We had a whole family murdered in their home, and for a while a mysterious Black Man was peddlin’ something over in Southside. We even had the Feds come in and clean a lot of those dark things off the streets, government-style. The three men panicked a little when it seemed like all their good work was going to be undone, but they figured it out, and got something in return. While they were worrying about not having all their work undone, a few more of ‘em glowing disks showed up, spewing all manner of crittahs all over Arkham. ‘Round bout then the General store closed up and the owner left town. Lot of fellahs left town. Somethin’ spooked ‘em wicked bad.
Well, with all those new glowing places and only four neighbourhoods that were safe, there was a reckoning. People ‘round these parts said it was quite a light show, pistols and spells and whips and shotguns ‘a blazin’. They say they came very close to banishing Yig; they did their best, poor misguided souls.
In the end, well… Arkham’s a different place these days. Never did see those poor boys again, ‘cept maybe in the new friezes they’re erecting over a ways by where they’re putting up Yig’s brand new Temple. They look powerful scairt, even carved in stone and clutched in Yig’s gentle talons. Ayuh, Yig’s a beneficent ruler, so long as yah stay on Yig’s good side; otherways, it’s off to the stone of sacrifice and, well, you’ll know more about that than I by the 'morrow. There's some as 'round here that weren't mighty happy to see Yig come to rule, but those of us who've always expected him, well, it's like the Fourth of July and Christmas and the Black Feast of Shub-Niggurath all rolled into one.
Oh, fellahs, yah look powerful uneasy. Don’t worry, Yig will take you under his feathered coils soon enough, and it’ll all be over. Ayuh, that cold feelin’ creepin’ over you is one of the finer paralytic poisons, courtesy of Martha’s lemonade and our lord Yig hisself. You fellahs probably won’t feel a thing.
Don’t worry. I think the good folk down at the Innsmouth shindig will take a shine to you right proper. They'll treat you fine, afore'n you go.
It’s going to be a wicked good party. Wicked good.
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