Thursday, September 14, 2006

Beef... STAKE. (Fury of Dracula)

Me not know why funny man in black cape ask me to attack English bloke. He give me knife and gun-thingy and say "You vill vait here in ambush for Dr. Seward. Vhen he arrives on the east road, prewent him from pursuing me."

Beef always remember exactly what people tell him. Beef not always understand good what they say, but Beef always remember. Me not know what 'prewent' or 'pursuing' mean. But me find good bush. Funny man have sharp pointy teeth and look at Beef funny, but Beef obey him anyway. Beef like funny man's big doggies and funny flying mousies.

So Beef wait in bush for English Doctor to come. When he arrive, Beef yell "Beef smash!" and attack him. Doctor look all not scared and shoot his big long gun at me, but Beef tricky and shoot him first. Bloke look surprised and bleed a little bit. Then Beef pull out knife (Beef like knife...s. They all shiny and pointy.) Doctor come at Beef again, but Beef quicker and stabby-stabby him in arm. Doctor look angry now and pull out pointy stick. Beef not think pointy stick make good weapon, but Beef attack anyway. Beef miss Bloke. Bloke miss Beef. Beef think this funny. Not know why Doctor not think funny.

Now Doctor take out knife again. Beef think this not good way for Doctor to help people, but funny man in cape say 'prewent', so Beef will 'prewent'.

Doctor get really angry and put knife right in Beef's head. This hurt not so much as Beef think, but Beef fall down. Doctor say:

"Poor misguided fool. This evil monster now employs imbeciles in his growing legions of unholy servants. I pray for your soul, sir."

Then Doctor leave all in hurry. Beef bleed a lot.

Hard to move with knife in head. Bleeding stop not too long. Beef hope funny man with cape get away from mean English Doctor. Doctor make Beef feel funny and bleedy.

Beef have had worse boo-boos. Someday, Beef will hurt Doctor back. For now, Beef lay down in comfy pile of leaves. Stupid Doctor.

[A game of "Fury of Dracula" lead to a victory by the hunters, but not before a certain "Man with Pistol and Knife" made more trouble than was expected for Dr. Seward over several rounds of combat. I'll leave to Shemp and Easy the details of the chase - I had to immortalize "Beef" in the blog for now]

1 comment:

  1. Brilliance!

    Well played, Kozure;yet another reason to enjoy The Fury of Dracula - Beef is awesome!